


Black and Blue

by meanderingsoul



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Castiel's True Form, Charlie Lives, Demon True Forms, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Spoilers, Pre-Relationship, winchester codependency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 23:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4980157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meanderingsoul/pseuds/meanderingsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At least Crowley was still in his typical suit and... </p><p>Oh no, Cas was naked wasn’t he. Cas was naked and had been hugging Dean which would really be ok some other time, probably, Sam had been wondering about that for literally years now but <i>ug</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After season 10 I wanted a fixit fic, but of course I didn't manage to finish until after the next season's premier. But no spoilers here! And minimal angst!
> 
> First chapter is Sam's POV (because he wanted to think) and the second is from Dean's. This fic really fought me every step of the way and I'm not sure it says what I wanted it to say in it's current form. I think for me to fix it though would be a complete rewrite, so it will remain here as is.

The text from Cas had been about as short and totally un-descriptive as they normally were.

‘come back please’

But the please was relatively out of the ordinary and the text lacked its usual assortment of irrelevant emoticons, so Dean had just about floored the gas pedal on the impala. Dean was completely silent as they drove towards where Sam had left Rowena captive, he guessed both from the shock and anger. Sam wasn’t even mad Dean was mad, not this time. He’d known the whole thing with finding a cure and Rowena was spiraling out of control and he’d dragged Cas, Charlie, and Bobby’s fucking soul into it with him without a second thought.

But the mark was really gone. Dean kept rubbing at his pale freckly arm.

It still didn’t feel like a victory. It still felt like he’d gone too far, everything tinged _off_ somehow like his memories of being blood high or soulless. He didn’t think he’d be able to just shake this one off like they normally did.

Maybe that was a good thing.

There’d been some sort of lightning strike while Sam had still been driving up to meet Dean. He’d been stumbling out of an abandoned Mexican restaurant with supplies for what looked like a summoning spell still clutched in his left arm when Sam pulled up. The lightning had set the building on fire behind him. Amazingly the poor place had still somehow smelled like Mexican food.

Sam thunked his right knee against the door over and over and Dean still said nothing.

Charlie was back from the hospital, hopefully still safe in her room in the bunker with every ward they knew on her door. Just Sam had sat with her in the hospital. Dean had taken off before the ambulance even got there instead of comforting her like Dean would have. Dean was always better at that stuff than Sam, but Sam had held her chilly, little hand anyway since there was no one else to do it.

Sam had even been the one to pick her up and bring her back to the bunker while Cas hunted for Dean. The angel wards Cas had carved into their bones years ago still hid them from easy view from the average angel, but they’d never seemed to bother Cas before. Something had been affecting his ability to see Dean, but Cas hadn’t mentioned it and Sam hadn’t asked. That halting non explanation at that one almost nice dinner as to why he was still driving if he had his grace back had been awkward enough.

Obviously Charlie’s emails had been enough for Cas to solve the spell with Crowley and Rowena. Hopefully Crowley wasn’t too pissed still about the devils trap mess. They still had to deal with Rowena somehow. Hopefully. If things hadn’t really gone wrong.

Dean screeched to a halt outside the building and practically jumped out the door, stalked ahead with an angel blade already gripped in his hand. Sam jogged to catch up but Dean still disappeared inside first.

“Shit! Cas. Hey, what happened?”

Sam jogged faster.

Sam wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see when he rounded the corner but it wasn’t _this_. The smoking mutilated thing sat regally in a chair could only be a demon. But what Dean was still carelessly walking towards…

There was something bluish sitting on a pile of boxes, prodding at a label with a silver talon. It had six bright eyes winding around the sides of its face and _oh God_ four arms and the blackish boney things behind it were twitching upwards as Dean kept fucking _walking towards it_.

Maybe he wasn’t actually ok. Sam had the pistol up and aimed to the side of Dean in seconds even as his stomach plummeted.

“Dean, back away from there.”

Dean stared like _Sam_ was the one who’d finally lost his mind. “What the freaking hell Sam?”

Sam ignored him and didn’t move. “What are you and where is Castiel? What happened here?”

Dean turned around put himself squarely between Sam’s gun and the thing. “Are you out of your fucking mind? Dude, put that down.”

The creature moved so fast it _blurred_ at the edges. Sam could barely follow it. In a flash its spindly odd arms were around Dean, two around his torso, the upper right wrapped up around his chest and the left loosely holding an angel blade. Dean huffed but didn’t seem at all alarmed. Sam went ahead and clicked the safety off with his thumb.

“Sam, what the hells the matter with you? Obviously the damn witch you dragged into this mess did something to Cas.”

This was Castiel? “Dean are you um, seeing Cas like the usual Cas or something else?”

“Well obviously this is not usual for Cas Sammy, this is _so_ not subtle. Would you put the damn gun down now dumbass?”

The things (Cas’s?) tail flared out into a v and settled back behind him out of sight. It had no nose and its jaws were elongated somehow, the mouth narrow and lipless. As Sam stared the jawline seemed to flutter or twitch… ok those were mandibles of some kind apparently. There were two rows of some kind of feathered crest on its head which were standing on end, black feathers that looked sharp.

Sam finally noticed the creature’s right hand was on Dean’s shoulder, right where the handprint scar used to be.

It tipped its head to one side narrowed its eyes, oh no it was Cas. Sam stumbled back. “Oh man Cas, I’m so sorry, I’d never… I didn’t recognize you like um that.” He wondered how Dean had just known, he’d never even hesitated.

The angel wasn’t grotesque or anything, just unexpected. He’d let himself get used to Cas in Jimmy’s body, even though he knew damn well it wasn’t _really_ Cas. He shoved the gun back behind himself then tucked it away. He’d used to dream about seeing a real angel and it’d been a really long time since that part of his life but still, he’d almost _shot Cas_. And Dean had somehow just known on sight.

Cas only nodded once, neck just a bit too long. The feathers on his head laid down nearly flat and he blinked one set of eyes at a time as he unwound his arms from Dean. So it was Cas, that was fine, but those talons were almost an inch long each and Dean wasn’t reacting as if it was any more than another of Cas’s slightly too long hugs.  

Dean turned around just in time to see Cas flare two bony limbs out to the side and shake them briskly before he tucked them back down along his back, but Sam and Dean both saw the ragged, translucent flesh clinging tightly to dark bones and the few tattered black feathers that were still clinging on. As Sam stared one drifted towards the floor and dissolved.

“Oh Cas buddy, you said you were low on power not hurt. What do you need for these?” Dean reached out like he was going to grab Cas by the coat and pull him around like he normally would, but Cas didn’t have it right now so his fingers just kind of hovered near his bluish skin. Sam felt queasy. This explained the driving.

There was an overwrought groan from behind them.

“Oh hells above, I forgot how damn sickening you were Squirrel before the mark started scrambling up your already meager brains. And I was so enjoying that bit of standup you boys had going a minute ago.”

Dean turned slowly, grinned at Crowley.

“Crowley! Good to see you face to face again, been a while. Still a nice look, very classic. I recognize all the forms. Mind letting us in on what the hell happened here?”

Dean was still smiling nastily; he’d never get used to that look on his brother’s face, and he hid a shudder when he realized what Dean meant. Lucifer had shown him _things,_ how the conversion from human soul to demon involved a corruption of the soul’s concept of its physical self. How bodies in hell were _malleable_ if you took enough time. So he knew what the cloven hooves and rough red skin and small curling horns had used to be. The red smoking eyes he was used to at least, though they were larger and hollowed like this. At least he was still in his typical suit and oh no Cas was naked wasn’t he. Cas was naked and had been hugging Dean which would really be ok some other time, probably, he’d been wondering about that for literally years now but _ug_. Dean didn’t seem to have noticed this little fact yet so Sam kept his mouth shut.

“Well boys, mother dearest has run off. She decided we wouldn’t be able to follow her if she trapped us in these pathetic approximations of our real forms. Without the meat suits we just don’t blend in. Damned inconvenient.”

“So she took both the spell books and you what, just sat here?”

“Moose, I’d think you would be taking a more apologetic tone after that devils trap need to fake my death nonsense you couldn’t be bothered to let me know about ahead of time!”

“Ok, ok cut the crap!” And it was weirdly nice to hear Dean yell just then because it was just Dean yelling because Dean was frequently a jerk, no demonic influence behind it at all. Though Cas reached out and put one of his massive, sharp looking hands on Dean’s back for some reason. 

“We can fill me in on all the crap that’s been going on behind my back later. Obviously you can’t just smoke out or you’d have done it already. Cas, you got any ideas about this?”

Dean had to tip his head back to look Cas in the eyes and they all watched, though Crowley was pretending to examine his nails, as Cas twitched his chin to the side a bit and opened his mouth.

Then Sam was on the floor with his arms over his head and ears ringing too bad to hear the busted glass that was pinging off his jacket. When he looked up Dean was clutching his ears while Cas held on to his upper arms, all six eyes very round. The glass had shattered from every window and Crowley seemed to be an unconsciously smoking heap on the floor. The ringing started to fade and Sam could hear Dean cursing steadily at the top of his lungs. Castiel glanced over at him worriedly when he moved. Sam wasn’t sure how he knew what worried looked like on something with six eyes, feathers, and mandibles, but hey, Cas had always had weird facial expressions.

“I’m fine Cas. It’s ok,” he said, but maybe he shouted a bit.

He stood up in time to see Crowley twitch, sit up, and stare around himself wide eyed before whirling on Cas. “Are you insane! You could have killed me!”

When Crowley yelled in his real form what was left of his lips and cheeks curled back to show his teeth to their roots. Sam felt his stomach lurch a little.

Cas walked over near Crowley and stared down at him. Then he very deliberately shrugged.

The look on Crowley’s hideous face was priceless. Dean barked a laugh and Sam let himself grin.

 “We need to get out of here before anyone notices which empty building was making a lot of noise and calls the cops. Sorry Cas, but no more trying to talk until we get this worked out.”

Cas shrugged again. One feather fell to the floor.

*

Getting from the newly suspicious looking abandoned warehouse back to the bunker was not the best experience.

They kept all the windows cranked down the whole way and Crowley still stunk up the entire interior with sulphur and Sam knew he’d be drug into detailing the car later. Normally Crowley rode in the trunk, but Sam did feel a bit bad about the whole I told your mom I’d kill you thing, even though Sam had just trapped him elsewhere and hoped Rowena wouldn’t bother to double check. She hadn’t.

Fitting Cas into the car at all had been bad enough. He was close to seven foot tall now and with the tail and his mangled wings he did not fit in the impala. Sam kept watch for anyone who might check out the exploding abandoned warehouse while Dean finally helped Cas crawl in to kneel backwards on the seat and hunch his head up against the back window with a stern warning to keep his talons far away from the upholstery. A few long wing feathers hung down into the foot well.

It was actually a very quiet drive. Cas seemed to have decided that if he couldn’t talk then Crowley couldn’t either. Every time the demon so much as opened his mouth Cas prodded him with the point of one gleaming talon and Crowley’s skin would give off a little plume of smoke. He couldn’t even swat at Cas. With their real selves more exposed than usual it was obvious that the only reason angels and demons spent any time fighting on the same level was an issue of numbers and being both shielded and limited by human vessels. Cas was barely powered up and Crowley couldn’t bear to touch him like this.

Dean didn’t glance in the rear view mirror once. Sam leaned against the door and fidgeted with the bunker key in his pocket.

Sam had texted Charlie they were on the way so she didn’t have to freak out when the door opened but he hadn’t been expecting her to hobble up to meet them. She’d only been out of the hospital barely a few days, and while she’d stabbed and finished off the Stein who came for her just before they could get there he’d broken her right leg to go with the barely healed broken arm, broke her nose, re-fractured her cheekbone from when Dean had fucking lost it fighting Id Charlie, fractured two ribs, and bruised a kidney when he’d kicked her in the back. She was a mess and had been hobbling up to the bunker door on one crutch with a pistol when they came in. Her pistol got brought up shakily when she saw what was behind them.

Dean immediately moved towards her, hands out and loose as if he was as scared she’d flinch away from him as Sam was. He still had his sleeves shoved up and Sam saw her eyes catch where the Mark used to be.

“Hey kiddo, no need for that.”

She coughed weakly and winced. “Are we sure about that guys? I don’t recognize your new friends.”

“Sure you do, I brought your new bestie home for dinner.”

Charlie gave Dean another look over like maybe she’d missed some new crazy then squinted back at the door. She was wobbling on the crutch. “Uh, no offence Cas but please tell me you’re the blue guy and this isn’t a permanent makeover?”

Cas waved carefully with one of his right arms. He hadn’t moved his mouth or made a sound since the first disaster.

Sam pulled the bunker door closed behind them and locked it with a quiet sigh of relief. So maybe Crowley was stuck in here with them, but Dean was free of the mark, Charlie was alive, and they were all relatively safe inside the bunker for now.

He turned around to see Dean trying to convince Charlie to let him carry her back to her bedroom and her prodding him away with the crutch. All this was happening silently and both of them were making weird faces. Sam suddenly had a lot of sympathy for the way Dad had used to groan and thud his head against the steering wheel when he and Dean had used to do stuff like that in the backseat. Cas squinted at them.

Crowley had started heading towards a pile of books until Sam cleared his throat pointedly. He scowled back towards him, and it was grotesque with his lipless mouth and sharpened teeth, but it was still just Crowley and he was a relatively known entity at this point. And it wasn’t like he could compete with Lucifer’s nightmares.  

Cas shuffled over to Charlie and reached out with two fingers, delicately tipping the talons up away from her skin. Charlie didn’t blink. A moment later the livid bruising on her face was down to pale yellows and greens and she took a deep breath. She tried to put weight on her leg and grimaced before Cas could even finish frantically shaking his head. Dean steadied her by the shoulders.

“Ok, got it. Awesome angel super powers only go so far. Seriously, thanks though. I always liked my nose the way it was.”

Cas still couldn’t talk so he tried patting her awkwardly on the shoulder instead.

Charlie squinted up at his head. “Are those feathers or antennae?”

Dean swept her up into a princess carry, one hand bracing her broken leg before Cas could do something dumb like try and answer the question (though Sam would really like to know too) saying, “Ok, it is way past the queen’s bedtime. Wait here.”

As they vanished down the hallway Sam saw Charlie’s free hand reach out and clutch onto Dean’s shirt.

They waited in the main library. Crowley sprawled into one of the unbroken chairs after he helped himself to Dean’s whiskey. Cas was examining some of the ruined books. Sam paced and tried not to look at any of it.

Dean appeared after about ten minutes with suspiciously red eyes. “So Boris, you got any bright ideas for dealing with this before we hit the books?”

Crowley huffed and a plume of reddish smoke trickled out of his mouth. “It was a short incantation, no other supplies or blood was used, no herbs, and to get this kind of massive effect without them it has to be relatively temporary. It should wear off on its own.”

“What, so we do nothing? I’m not waiting around for you to ooze all over the place. I’ve got enough to clean up here as it is.”

“Hey! I cut a fine figure here, there is no oozing.”

“Crowley, is there anything we can do to speed this up?” Cas had picked up a book and was gently re-shelving it. The air smelled _off_ in here, not like anything in particular just off. Cas had been incredibly vague on the phone when he said there’d been an incident at the bunker and all of the branch of the Stein family who’d attacked Charlie were dead and Dean had run off again. Sam had been to busy being relieved that Charlie had still been at the hospital and too worried about finding Dean to give it much thought. Sam couldn’t spot any blood on the floor or walls, no signs of a big fight. There were messy piles of books and nothing else.

Dean was pale, glancing around and clenching his jaws like he expected something else.

Dean finally coughed. “Ok, so we just need something to help cleanly terminate a dark magic spell, not a specific counter spell since it’s not something that’ll last anyway. Goofer dust, or something else purifying.”

“Ritual bath might do it.” Sam knew they had everything people would normally put in one. He and Dean tossed Epsom salts into motel tubs for lots of reasons.

Cas shrugged again.

“It’s a good start. The bunker has a salt water shower room near the cells.”

“Are we forgetting something you backstabbing waste of space? Demon here, saltwater just isn’t going to work its way into my evening plans.”

Sam stared at Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“Well it’s a good start for Cas, so you’ll just have to think about it while you wait around for it to wear off downstairs. C’mon Cas.” 

Cas followed Dean quietly towards the kitchen while Sam gestured Crowley towards the stairs to the dungeon. Crowley huffed, but for once didn’t make things more difficult on principle. If he’d wanted away from here he could have jumped out of the impala or taken off any time before that. Sam figured he didn’t want all his followers seeing him stuck in the wrong form because of his mother.

There was something else that was off, something about the way Dean and Cas were moving around each other. It was vaguely familiar from somewhere and watching it set Sam’s teeth on edge.

But Sam was too exhausted to really think about that either. The only thing he was thinking about was having his own shower as soon as Crowley was locked away.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Cas had to duck to follow Dean around the bunker. He could hear the rustling noise every time he did it.

There was a storage area just below the kitchen. Dean had started calling it a hunter’s pantry at some point. Some of the stuff had been too old and dried out to still be potent when they’d first moved in, but it still had almost anything anyone could ever want for curse breaking, wards, or summoning spells, every kind of “magic” crap that hunters needed. He lobbed a bag of salt back at Cas and saw him catch it with his second set of arms. Ok. He grabbed glass jars with oils of hyssop and vetiver, tucked them between the fingers of his left hand so they wouldn’t clank together. He tugged at Cas’s upper arm to get him to follow before he could think and remember not to fucking grab him after…

The blue skin was actually tiny feathers, incredibly soft on his hand and with no give at all, like touching warm metal.  

Dean didn’t walk down towards the salt shower room. Or to the smaller shower room he and Sam had been sharing near that first floor of little bedrooms. There was a different room he’d found two floors down and never had the chance to use. Cas followed close behind him. His toe talons clicked on the concrete floor.

Cas hadn’t said anything, couldn’t say anything just now, but he must of cleaned up the blood and gasoline. The bodies. The pictures weren’t in with the piles of books either. Cas had picked himself up off the floor after Dean had beat him bloody and threatened to fucking kill him like it’d be nothing then cleaned Dean’s house up for him.

It was a good thing Cas couldn’t talk just now because Dean had no idea what to _say_.

Two floors down from the little bunk rooms there were some bigger rooms, offices with those green lampshades, narrow couches, and other stuff that suggested there used to be a lot more people staying in this place that were all fucking dead now. Dean led Cas down the hall to another plain bluish door, but this room had a huge claw foot tub.

Cas still had to duck to get in the door. This time Dean watched the feathers on his head press flat and fluff up again as the angel straightened, making the rustling sound.

Dean knew the water ran in here just fine, he’d checked that much. He set it to hot and let it run, poured in drizzles of each of the oils and let the earthy scent float around the room. He threw in seven handfuls of salt for good measure and motioned Cas towards the tub.

Cas looked between him and the tub skeptically and dipped the fingers of his second left arm into the water.

Dean had been trying hard not to just stare at Cas. He had no idea how he’d recognized him. None. He had no memory of Cas looking like this before, just like he had no memory still of being rescued from hell. He’d just _known_.

The wings looked terrible. Just awful. They were wasted from lack of use, the muscles gone weak just like human’s would, but the feathers he remembered seeing the stunning shadows of were charred and brittle. Most of them were just gone. Unless Cas and the other angels could somehow grow in all new feathers in their less-powered state, it was obvious they’d be flightless forever. Cas must have known all along and just not wanted to say, which explained why he’d been so cagey on pizza night.

The four arm thing was pretty obvious, hard to miss that. Each hand had five long and human looking fingers tipped with those hooked, silver talons that looked like they could probably claw through steel. But Cas was Cas, had a long fuse, so he poked a bubble floating in the water to pop it.

His feet were less human, four taloned toes in front and one talon facing backwards on a high ankle more like a bird. The tail was tucked together narrowly and the ends of the feathers passed his knees. They were less charred than the wing feathers, but Dean doubted that really did Cas much good.

He couldn’t stop himself from glancing between Cas’s legs. There was absolutely nothing to see, but the area looked fluffier than the rest of his skin, like there were more little feathers there for warmth or comfort or something.

Dean cleared his throat and reached to turn off the water before it got to the point where the tub would overflow when Cas ever got in. “Cas, you’re gonna want to hop in before it gets cold.”

Dean straightened back up, leaning closer to Cas in the process and froze.

Some of the blue feathers were actually a darker blue, discolored. Slightly puffy blotches, irregular on the edges along his arms, sides, belly, and darker still on his neck.

Bruises.

“I hurt you.”  His voice sounded far away. Cas was immediately peering into his face from about three inches away but he didn’t move. There was a bruise on Cas’s face too. He’d known he’d beaten Cas’s vessel bloody, split his own knuckles on his face, but he’d actually hurt the real angel underneath. And Castiel hadn’t raised a hand to him the whole time.

“I hurt you. Why the hell’d you let me do that Cas?”

His voice cracked and he ducked his head down away from Cas’s face. None of the memories from when the Mark had been driving him were any hazier than any of his other memories and he didn’t deserve any different. He remembered shooting that kid and feeling nothing, remembered the sound of Charlie’s bones breaking in his hands. Remembered throwing Cas to the ground and feeling him flinch away just a little when Dean had brought the blade down. Castiel might have let him do it for real.

There was a rustling noise and a hand cupped his skull. Fine. Cas could just pop his head like a melon and be done with it all. His forehead was pulled against Cas’s torso, the little feathers soft on his face. His eyes were hot and his throat was so tight it hurt to breathe. Cas carefully ran his fingertips through the hair on the back of Dean’s head.

It was quiet down here. Cas in this body didn’t breathe, didn’t have a heartbeat. His face felt damp, probably the steam. An arm slowly wrapped around his back.

Dean let out a breath slowly. “Let’s get you rinsed off before you whack your head on a doorframe, ok?”

Castiel finally knelt in the tub like he had in the impala, legs folding under him and tail out behind. He sighed without a sound once he’d settled in the water and let his wings and arms drop down in as well. All his eyes closed. Dean swallowed hard as a few feathers came loose and dissolved away.

Dean wished he’d thought to bring a bowl or something down here with them because there was no way Cas would be able to smush his whole self down into the water to weaken the spell. Cas turned his head and squinted at him as he pulled his over-shirt off, then his narrow weird little mouth quirked up at one corner and he patted the water in front of him.

“What? Dude, I am not hopping in there with you. Close your eyes so I can get your head wet without getting the oil in them.”

That probably wasn’t something that would hurt Cas at all, but he did it anyway. Dean cupped his hands together in the water and let it pour over the top of Castiel’s pointy head. It took several handfuls before his head was all damp. The mandible things along his jaw twitched when it ran down his face. Dean splashed some more of the water up along his back, looking at the feathers laid down along Cas’s neck rather than the wings. He let a fingertip brush one. They were iridescent and kinda like touching a thinly cut piece of rock or a shard of glass.

Castiel caught his right arm in one hand, rubbed his thumb over where the Mark had been. There was nothing there, no sign there ever had been. It didn’t ache at all either, though when the light had struck it it had felt like it’d been set on fire. Cas made that little sigh motion again and tugged Dean’s arm forward to press it tightly against the side of his face.

Dean held very still. Cas’s eyes were closed and his face was damp from the bath. After a moment his hand loosened and Dean carefully started to pull away when one of the mandible things flexed out and clamped down around his thumb. It didn’t hurt or anything. Dean looked up at Cas’s face and his eyes were all perfectly round, as if he was as surprised by that as Dean was.

“Um, Cas? I’m gonna need that back.”

Cas didn’t blink or move, but the mandible relaxed enough for Dean to pull away. He shook the water off his hands briskly and turned around to see if there were towels in here or if he’d need to go get some, but got sidetracked staring at his thumb. That had been weird.

“Dean.”

Cas was standing in the tub, thankfully fully dressed with the hem of his shitty new trench coat getting soaked by the water. He was pale and his hair was sopping wet but there wasn’t a mark on his vessel Dean could see.

“Hey Cas. Did the bath thing help at all?”

“Yes. It is uncomfortable to be in that form on this plane. Thank you.”

Cas looked grateful, as if Dean helping him wash up after getting him fucked up in the first place was anything other than the minimum he was due. Dean wanted to say it wasn’t a problem or don’t mention it or I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry, but his throat was tight again. He gripped one of Cas’s arms as he climbed out of the tub in case he slipped. His shoes sloshed on the concrete floor.

Dean was about to offer to go get some towels but Castiel’s clothes were dry by the time he was done blinking. His hair stayed a soggy mess. Cas frowned up at it.

Dean shrugged, picked up his flannel shirt from the floor and started rubbing Cas’s hair dry with it.

“Thought you said you were big as the Chrysler building Cas.”

Cas glared. “That was hardly my truest form, it is simply one we take for some purposes.”

“Like what? It wouldn’t even let you talk.” Dean’s thumbs smoothed down behind Cas’s ears.

“To take our real forms into Hell expends too much energy too quickly, since it is too far from Heaven’s dimension to properly recharge. We would take those forms instead.”

So that’s what Cas would’ve looked like when he fished Dean out of the pit.

“Oh. Sorry I called you short then.” Dean tried to casually ruffle Cas’s hair then turned away to wad his soggy shirt up into a ball and drain the tub. Cas caught him by the shoulder just like he had upstairs.

“Dean. Your conscious mind may not be able to remember this form from then, but your soul does. You’ll always recognize me in the end. Just like I will you.”

Cas was smiling at him a little. Dean knew exactly what Cas was implying, and he remembered exactly what it’d been like having robo-Cas shatter his cheekbone, but it was a bullshit comparison.

“That’s not the same Cas. You had Naomi yanking all the strings instead of you. This was still just me losing my temper. You can’t just ignore that.”

Cas looked unimpressed.

“The Mark is several million years old. You are 36. I have seen your stubbornness accomplish incredible things Dean Winchester, but you were hardly going to match its will. Unless you still want to harm Charlie and Sam, or me, I don’t see why I need dwell on it.”

He tugged slightly with the hand still gripping Dean’s shoulder, and Dean folded like wet cardboard and let Cas pull him into a hug. Cas held the back of his head again, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Dean didn’t try to clap him on the back, keep it at a normal, friendly kind of hug. He set his chin on Cas’s shoulder, fisted both hands into his coat and closed his eyes. Cas maybe kissed his hair.

They stood like that for a bit. Cas leaned his face against Dean’s head. Then he yawned right in Dean’s ear.

When Dean leaned back Cas was blinking slowly and looking faintly perplexed.

“I am tired.”

“Well you’re still banged up and it’s been a shit couple of months. That’s normal.”

Cas leaned against Dean, getting heavier by the second.

“Your room’s still upstairs. You could get some sleep. Stay for a bit.”

It was a stupid thing to say. Dean knew Cas had his real grace back, didn’t really need to sleep anymore or a bed to do it in, but Cas just gave him one of his little crooked smiles and followed him back upstairs.

It was a start.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I am on tumblr over [here](http://meanderings0ul.tumblr.com). I reblog mostly Supernatural, MCU, and Harry Potter stuff. Sometimes I even rant. I don't do anons, but my ask is always open. Con crit is always welcome on my fics. Thanks.


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